Mission: To Be Try-umphant

I've dreamed of writing a lifestyle blog for a long time.

But... there were so many 'but's. What do I write about? When will I find the time? Who will read it? Will they like me? Will I sound intelligent? Will I be a positive addition to the internet social collective or will I be lost in the white noise of it all?

Am I enough? Are my thoughts and my words enough for a successful blog?

Ah, there lies the rub, to quote my beloved Shakespeare. "Successful" is a big word. Vast. Looming.

suc·cess·ful

səkˈsesfəl/

adjective

1. accomplishing an aim or purpose.

   "a successful attack on the town"

   synonyms:

   victorious, triumphant;

   • having achieved popularity, profit, or distinction.

     "a successful actor"

     synonyms:

     prosperous, affluent, wealthy, rich;

I was, and still often am, very concerned with the second definition... especially the way Google uses it in a sentence! I now see that the second definition is debilitating. Popularity and profit and distinction are defined by elements I have no control over. Those are based on what other people like and what others choose to spend their money on.  If my standards of success are solely reliant on the opinions of others I run the risk of never achieving my goals. Nope. I'm not okay with that at all. Those outside definitions should be secondary to personal success. Which leaves us only with the first definition.

"The only way to guarantee failure is to never try at all." I believe that is a paraphrase of a quote by Theodore Roosevelt. Interestingly, the quotes page on www.goodreads.com has a lot of quotes about inaction... many of which are also tagged with 'cowardice'. To not try is to essentially be a coward. Ouch.
Therefore, this blog is officially successful in a personal sense because I have begun. That is the only success I need. My perfectionism can guide the form but it can no longer dictate whether or not I try. The next step towards success will be achieving an aim, a purpose. So... what is that purpose?

I want to write because I'm not the only human paralyzed by fear and immobilized by the negativity of the mind. I am not the only one weighed down by self-generated doubts and fears and depression. I want to be a light to others in that situation, because I am choosing to overcome that dark numbness with action and with courage and with love. I have deeply appreciated the times when brave souls have spoken into my needy and crippled heart with words of encouragement, love and selfless support. I want so badly to reciprocate, to love others in return. I want to encourage you, reader, to be bold and live a happy and fulfilled life. I genuinely believe that literally every human born deserves fulfillment and joy, and has been gifted with the opportunity to thrive. I want to say that with every aspect of my life. What better way than to blog about it?

As I'm waking up, I realize that a fulfilled life does not start with relationships, or eating right, or spirituality, or material wealth, or popularity, or value, or artistic relevance, or even having a family or a home or anything. It starts in the mind. The rest follows. It starts with having the courage to say yes.
Fulfillment and awakening is beginning, for me, with choices. First to God, then to the steps He showed me I needed to take towards Him, and then to the ideas He's blessing me with. More on that later.

I don't quite know how to explain this phenomenon, this waking up and beginning to really try... but I will try to. And as long as I try, I will inherently be triumphant. Try-umphant. ;-)